Can I do it?....

My weight loss story so far has not been one of success. Why? Because I'm a lazy, unmotivated, emotional eating fool! lol Seriously though I have impeded myself time and time again. I feel horrible about my body, I feel awful about my lack of physical health, and I really truly want to feel happy from the inside out. Right now I don't.
So what do you do when vanity or health isn't enough to motivate you? Where do you turn when you just want to crawl in a hole and hope everyone else around you gets fat too so you can justify the way things are? My answer...I have no freaking clue!

Sometimes I get a light bulb moment and I hope this one stays lit. I've always known I'm an emotional eater. But I don't exactly know why. I also know I have a terrible relationship with food that stems back to when I started to grow and change into a "woman" and the ripe old age of 10. It's a love/hate relationship for sure. I've always loved to eat and indulge, and I always hate myself afterwards.
So this is the next part of my weight loss journey I guess. Not just simply trying to lose weight but breaking down the inside walls that caused it to be there in the first place.
My worry is can I do it? Or will I let this fizzle out like so many other goals. Will I care for a week and a half and then become dissatisfied with the results or lack thereof? I really hope I can, I need it so bad.