Shaking the Dust off the ole Brain

So we've been in school about a month now and I can't believe how easily it is to forget the basics after only a few months off! But both Casey and I are working hard to get the noggins primed for more knowledge that gets thrown our way each class.

I'm glad I'm only taking one class this semester. I'm not sure I could handle much more honestly. I have no clue how I did it before AND I had more going on. I just feel a little more tired this semester and it's been nice to just kind of take it easy. Casey on the other had is burning the candle at both ends some days. The man is go go go because he has so much on his plate. I feel for him and I try to help as best I can but there's only so much I can do. But he handles stress and craziness much better than I do so where I would have been completely overwhelmed by his schedule, he takes it in stride.

Speaking of taking strides I came up with a game at work that I hope other people will work at too. It's a way to motivate those of us (okay let be honest, ME, to motivate ME) to exercise more. Although I've done okay with weight watchers my progress hasn't really gone very far. So I thought maybe to make a better incentive we should have a walking challenge or something. I was printing shirts for this company that just meet it's 100 mile mark for some people and they were celebrating that. So the rusty gears of my mind started turning. I didn't want it to just be about walking. Not everyone walks or has time to walk, so I decided it would be about mileage. A person can walk, run, bike, swim, use gym equipment that tracks miles, roller-blade on and on. As long as they were doings something physical that was outside a normal day to day work routine and could keep track of the miles it counted. Well then I was like, okay so are we seeing who would get the most miles by a certain date or what? My mind was plotting and twisting its way around this idea, I really was stumped because I wanted it to be fun and challenging for those where were already in shape but also build teamwork and friendship at work. Well I went to my mother in laws office and gave her my idea and she tweaked it a little and I tweaked it a little. Then finally it hit me! We were going to do the miles of a distance to a destination as a group and have a party afterward. So I got online and found out that Honolulu is 2866 miles from Lewiston and we will have a luau once we get the miles in! I was really excited about this. I even figured spouses and kids could join in. So I start talking about my idea at work and what I got was a lot of negative feedback from a few people. They truly made me feel stupid. I was all excited about this and these people just treated it like I told them that licking rotten apple was fun. Well I pushed forward anyway. I went and got some poster board and markers and made a chart. I decorated it all cute and fun and put everyone's name on it regardless of if they want to participate or not. If they don't they can just cross off their name easy-peasy. I also got stickers to mark every 10 miles a person has done.

I'm pumped about this. And what makes me feel even better is the fact that although I had input from others, it was my idea! I want to feel like I'm truly contributing to the work atmosphere in a positive way. We all get stressed and snark at each other so often I wonder why sometimes people show up for work. Maybe this can de-stress some of us and motivate others? How fun right?

Well that's what you get when you start using your brain. lol

Personal Goals

So read a blog of a friend that shared this quote:

George Bernard Shaw said: "Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself."

I LOVED this to say the least! My friend was posting about her growth as a person while her husband has been deployed. All the while I was reading this post I was thinking there are so many things I want to do, and why shouldn't I. It doesn't mean I will be the greatest but why do I feel like I need to apologize all the time for wanting to try something. It's like, I'm afraid to be ok at something and that it will offend people who are truly good at it. Does that make sense?

I will use photography as an example. I don't know a lot about the technical aspect of it, and I'm not even sure I have a true knack, but I LOVE taking pictures and catching a moment or a look on someones face. It's the best feeling sometimes. Part of me thinks that my love for getting those moments or documenting those rare occasions is because so many of my moments in life were not captured. A lot of them I boo-hoo about and I'm trying to get better but a little bit of bitterness tends to well up in me when I think of them. Like my high school graduation. I don't really have any pictures of that. I and I don't have a single one of me with my parents. Isn't that supposed to be a proud moment shared by a family? And yet, I only have a few taken with friends. My memories of that day are not wonderful anyway but I don't even have a single picture to help me remember the pride I felt. That's so very sad. Another moment is my wedding day. I wish I could go back and tell the photographer exactly what i wanted, or do pictures beforehand or SOMETHING!

Anyway enough boo-hooing and back on topic, my point is, my lack of having moments captured has made me almost annoying in my pushing for others to have their moments caught. I love doing that but something my brother said to me once shook my confidence in myself to the point I don't even feel like I should be allowed to do something I love. He said "every girl with a camera I know thinks she's a real photographer. You're no different." I'm not sure why he said that, or if he meant it in a harsh way. Maybe he was just trying to warn me that it's a craft many people do but not many people are truly talented. I don't know. In any case I feel as though I might offend those who truly have talent in the craft. And I don't know how to gauge my ability either so who knows. There are no classes in this area I can take to learn more, and I"m kind of going off the cuff most of the time.

But this quote made me think of it a little differently. I don't have to be the best to be the best person I can be. Was that to crazy of a sentence? haha But really, it doesn't matter right? I shouldn't compare my love for something with that talent of others. Because you can't measure them together. It's like, I'm not a perfect singer but does that mean I shouldn't sing in church or along with my favorite music because it might upset and offend the ears of an opera singer? No, I love doing it, and I feel good doing it, and if it makes me improve myself a little more than I should continue.

Heavenly Father has blessed us all with many different gifts, and many levels of those gifts. I think desire is a gift. I desire greatly to do something with my life. I desire to fulfill my education. I desire to become a better homemaker and learn and improve skills of cooking, crochet, sewing, and organization. I desire to be a better photographer. I desire to be a better musician. I desire to constantly learn things like Spanish, gardening, and most off all the scriptures. I desire to be HEALTHY!

I taught a lesson in Sunday School last week about our bodies and I used the quote "we are not mortals having a spiritual experience...we are spirits having a mortal experience." (or something like that) We each have the potential to create more out of ourselves in this eternity than we can even imagine. And I'm going to keep pressing on and doing that because I am blessed to have the desire to do so, and the ability will come with hard work and practice. :)

Love to all of you dear friends who support and read my silly ramblings. Thank you for all that you do for me!

H.