Saturday, March 10, 2012

Hooray Para México!

Through some crazy but exciting circumstances that involve the family business Casey, his parents and myself are going to Playa del Carmen, Mexico this next week. I'm so excited! We will get to stay there for about 4 days with 2 days of travel. Oh boy lol. But I am very much ready for sunshine and a little fun.
I posted a while back that it had hit me harder than I thought when I had surgery. Well the aftermath still hasn't improved. I can't believe how down I feel all the time. Part of that might be my body adjusting its hormones, or the shot they gave me or a normal reaction to loss, but my chest just feels heavy all the time. I find I get angry easily and I feel worn out. Most days I just wish I could stay in bed. Good thing I have a lot to do most days so that's not an option.
I'm just hoping that this trip will help me out of the funk I seem to be in. It's uncomfortable feeling this weight on my heart and not knowing why it's there or what I can do for it. There are moments when I try to think of how I can fix it and my brain starts racing until I can't focus and all I want to do is cry.
I have had depression before, I have had medication and I have dealt with things but right now I don't know WHY I feel that way. I'm so blessed and I have a good life. It's frustrating to know that and then still feel like there is this cloud over you.
So Mexico may help. The bright sunshine, the lack of day to day life. I hope it helps. I have some things set up in place for when we get back and I'm getting excited for that. I'm going to do a program to train for a 5K. I've never been a runner so that's HUGE for me. After I complete that I want to do a 10K. I'm also excited to continue my weight loss. It's been hard and I haven't lost as much as I've wanted to but going on this trip has motivated me quite a bit. I'm ready to keep going! I'm trying to plan a bit for the future so that I can have things to look forward to. That's really important when you are starting to feel low. There are things you have to do or it can swallow you up really easily: 1.) Count your blessings. 2.) Pray 3.) Make plans for short term and long term goals. 4.) Talk to somebody. 5.) Eat healthy and get some exercise
That's the plan anyway. So Hooray for Mexico. I think it's the kick start I need!