Eye Surgery Pics: Warning, kinda icky looking.

My eye is almost completely healed now. It's still a bit sensitive and has some twinges of pain but overall I can't believe how much better it is! It's a bit nuts. I'm so grateful that I could have this done. I'm having my other eye (my left eye) done on July 8th. My right eye should be completely healed by then because it will be a about 9 weeks of recovery by then. I wanted to share some of the pictures not because I think I look very good in them but to show that it is in my opinion a pretty dramatic change. At first I was really regretting doing this but now I'm really happy that I did. Hope I don't gross people out to much!

Last picture of my right eye before surgery. You can see how badly it droops over my pupil.

I don't remember Casey taking these but I was pretty doped up. This is right after I got out of surgery I guess.


A day or so later...Starting to swell a lot more.

A few days after that the bruising is starting to get really dark. It's a little hard to see in this light but my eye is a very icky shade of purple and green.

This picture shows really well where they put the graft. My leg is also looking pretty bad by this time but that picture would be right up my thigh and there are just some things people don't need to see. Hahaha. Anyway, they grafted muscle from my leg to the muscle above my eyebrow because my eyelid was completely paralyzed. To open my eye I've had to work my eyebrow muscle. It was funny at first because I would look really surprised in one eye when I would open it but now it's a lot better.

This was taken after I got my stitches out. I think it was about 2 weeks or so after my surgery.

My latest picture taken a few days ago!!! Look how even and open it looks! It's opening more and more each day and it will be so nice when both are done.


So far there are no plans to do a graft with my left eye. It doesn't have great muscle movement either though so my doc said we would just see what would happen once he gets in there. As of right now if you look strait on you can't see to much of a difference but when I use my face muscles to open my eye more you can really see how uneven they are. The droop in my left eye is minor but it's ability to open isn't great so that's what we are fixing. And we are also preventing it drooping any more in the future.
Fun fun fun!

A bight SUN shiny day! Happy Mother's Day!

Most years I become slightly cynical when it comes to Mother's Day. Although I try to focus on my own mother and the amazing women who have been or are in my life, I often go into my own selfish little world and get very self absorbed and pathetic.
Maybe it's the fact that I just had surgery so I knew there wasn't a chance of a baby or maybe it's that I've been very focused elsewhere but this year seemed very different. Could it be I'm maturing a bit and I'm not having a bunch of pity parties over things I can't control? Hopefully. Life is to short to constantly feel that down.
Surgery went well. I still look a bit like frankenstien but that's okay. I expected I would. I get my stitches out tomorrow and I'm sooooooooooo ready for that to happy. They hurt and itch and just make my face not happy to look at. I've decided to wait until July to do my other eye. I want a lot of healing to happen and I need to go back to work for a bit before my next round of mandatory time off hits.
Anyway, part of why I wanted to post, I wanted to share my little mother's day project I did. I'm reviving my love of cake decorating. So here are some sunflower cupcakes I made to brighten the day up a bit.




These goofy rays of happy are so easy to make. I want to share with anyone who reads this just how fun it is. Maybe some of you could do it with your kids or who knows. :)
The supplies you'll need are:
Cupcakes (duh I know.0
Oreo cookies
Red m&ms or orange reeces pieces
vanilla frosting.
About 1/2 cup yellow
About 1/2 cup green
About 1/4 cup black
A piping bag with a leaf tip. This is for the yellow frosting.
A piping bag with a writing tip. This is for the black frosting.
(note: they make a spray can with the tips included in various colors. These will also work just make sure you are using the correct tip.)

First bake your cupcakes. Any flavor will do. These happen to be orange. It just seemed to fit with the bright nature of the decorations. Frost the cupcake with green frosting. Then break apart the sandwiched oreo cookies. It doesn't matter if the white filling stays on a particular side. You can scrape it off if you want but I don't think it was necessary.
Place the oreo flat on the cupcake with the oreo writing up. It may look funny to you at first but it gives a little texture and fun to the project. Then taking the yellow leaf tip pipe around the outside band of the cookie little petals. Then do a second row more inside of the cookie just off balance of the first row.
Now take your black frosting and writing tip and pipe a bit of frosting anywhere on the cupcake or flower. Then take either your m&m or reeces candy and place it on the spot you piped. Using your black frosting draw a line down the middle of the candy and put dots on either side to make a lady bug.
Top off with some colored sugar and wa-la!
I cleaned a potting plant and put some of the cupcakes in those as a gift. I only had paper towels on hand but you could use some tissue paper and it would be really pretty. Another thing I didn't have but would make it really cute is green colored cupcake liners.
Hello easy visiting teaching gift, neighbor gift, or fun family home evening project right?

The total time it took me to do this from starting my mix to taking the picture was about a hour and a half. Not to bad. :)
Hope you all had a great day too!

Heather

Happy Easter!

I can't believe it's Easter already! Time has been going so quickly. Soon Casey will be done with this semester and we are both very ready for the summer to start! My poor husband is running on empty most days between work and school and it's about time he has a little fun!
We had stake conference today and the talks were wonderful! I loved hearing the speakers messages about the Savior and feeling the spirit in my heart. It was a broadcast done for about 48 Idaho stakes. It was great. Although those horrible chairs in the gym left something to be desired. lol
After conference Casey and I decided that some Easter pictures would be fun. We were already dressed up so why not. I was pleased with the results. Not professional by any means but they are frame worthy in my opinion. hehe. A few times Casey's stomach would growl though and that made for some interesting faces. But here are a few of the nicer ones we'd like to share:






I know I seem obsessed with pictures of us as a couple but to me it seems as though time is moving so quickly I want to capture all the wonderful moments in between. I'm truly blessed to have this man in my life. He brings such a wonderful spirit into our home and helps me grow everyday.
Happy Easter Everyone! I hope you all have a wonderful day. I sure have so far!

Spring Portraits!

This morning I woke up with the strange desire to get dressed up and grab my camera. Casey and I haven't had any pictures taken of us for quite a while so I thought it was about time even though frankly I HATE having my picture taken. I'm more of a behind the camera person.
So what prompted this need to document my existence with my husband on this earth today? The oddest place. Facebook. I realized the other day that I hadn't had a new profile picture in a long while and everybody else was constantly putting up new pictures that were so cute I wanted to be part of the crowd.
So we get up and trek down to this part of town with all these pretty trees off the road. I take one or two pictures and then Casey stops dead and says "Heather, it's time to go." I almost laughed but he was so serious. So I asked why and he pointed out a tent with shoes and other living area things. We had wandered into a homeless mans campout! I felt stupid and a little un-nerved. (I watch Criminal Minds to much I think, hahaha) so we got out of there and went to a park. It was then that I realized I HATED setting up the camera, setting a timer, running to get in place, and hoping with no real conviction that I wouldn't look stupid in the picture. I called my sister-in-law Shannon a begged her to come help us. She was so sweet to comply. Literally she dropped what she was doing, got the kids dressed and came on down.
She did a great job. I don't always like how I look in photos but it was so sweet of her to do that for us when we asked her out of the blue.
Once I got home I started playing around and I like the results. I thought I would share a few! :)







I really like this almost washed out style. I've been finding more and more ways to "treat" the portraits and stuff I've been doing. I really love it!

Look into my eyes....

So after seeing the plastic surgeon the other day I have a much better understanding of eyes and what is wrong with mine. I probably always had a droopy eyelid but thanks to a car wreck and the subsequent head injury that followed my eye is even worse. I took this before picture so that I can look back and remember how BAD my eye truly was.
The muscle in my eyelid is stretched and the doctor hopes to stitch it together in three points above my eye to bring it up to where it needs to be. You see how it basically covers the very center of my eye? Well that's bad. I am visually impaired on that eye by almost 50! Talk about a blind spot! My other eye has a droop to but it's not as severe although it still qualifies for surgery. That will take place after my right eye heals and all that fun stuff. Which means about 3 weeks of pure boredom. No reading, no tv, no computer, no craziness. I'm sure it wont be as bad as it sounds and my mom said she might even be able to come and visit so that would be nice.
I'm very excited to have it done. My eye is not only an impairment to my daily life, but a HUGE insecurity. Ever picture taken, or comment made of "are you tired?" or even loved ones saying, "wow, you're eye looks bad!" to strangers pointing out my "weird ugly eye and lets pray my children don't look like me!" (okay that last one was a mean woman who I provoked because her kid was obnoxious...but still, ouch! lol)
I joke about my "weird eye." I've hid behind glasses the last couple of years not only because I can't see anything but because it hides the droop better. But I miss sunglasses. I miss putting on my makeup and feeling satisfied with the result and NOT needing to cover it up with glasses. I miss feeling like I look normal. So although this surgery is for medical reasons, I'm grateful also to indulge my vanity just a little bit and feel better about myself. I would be a complete liar if I said that didn't matter to me. My only wish was I had been able to do it sooner. I think of my wedding pictures or any pictures really since my amazing husband came into my life. I think of how I try to turn or hide it or how awful I feel after seeing a picture where Case looks awesome and I look like a goober. We all can find things that work against us genetically without adding something on top of it.
There are fears too. Blindness. Still looking like me. Training my eye to adapt to all the light and what not. Will it be painful? Common normal fears. But mostly I'm just ready for it to happen.
So come on insurance and send me my happy papers and lets make this a go!

Can I do it?....

My weight loss story so far has not been one of success. Why? Because I'm a lazy, unmotivated, emotional eating fool! lol Seriously though I have impeded myself time and time again. I feel horrible about my body, I feel awful about my lack of physical health, and I really truly want to feel happy from the inside out. Right now I don't.
So what do you do when vanity or health isn't enough to motivate you? Where do you turn when you just want to crawl in a hole and hope everyone else around you gets fat too so you can justify the way things are? My answer...I have no freaking clue!

Sometimes I get a light bulb moment and I hope this one stays lit. I've always known I'm an emotional eater. But I don't exactly know why. I also know I have a terrible relationship with food that stems back to when I started to grow and change into a "woman" and the ripe old age of 10. It's a love/hate relationship for sure. I've always loved to eat and indulge, and I always hate myself afterwards.
So this is the next part of my weight loss journey I guess. Not just simply trying to lose weight but breaking down the inside walls that caused it to be there in the first place.
My worry is can I do it? Or will I let this fizzle out like so many other goals. Will I care for a week and a half and then become dissatisfied with the results or lack thereof? I really hope I can, I need it so bad.

Personal Values

This month we are having our New Beginings program for Young Womens. My part of the program is to talk about personal progress. I have no clue what I'm going to say although I have a few things bouncing around in my noggin. While thinking of my part in this program I have started to think of the different values that the young women are encouraged to develop and understand. Faith, Divine Nature, Individual Worth, Knowledge, Choice and Accountability, Good Works, Integrity, and Virtue. I have begun to ask myself if I attempt to develop or understand these virtues or do I let them slide like so many other traits I need to work on.
I'm doing well in some areas, others not so much. I wont bore anyone with a breakdown of my lacking or my accomplishments. I just wanted to reflect a little bit.
I am grateful however to be a part of the young womens presidency. At times I am frustrated with my calling and even those I serve with, but and the end of the day I am grateful for what it teaches me and pushes me to do. I have to be more organized, have more patience and good humor, as well as charity in my heart. Not to mention it is a constant reminder of my worth as a daughter of God. That never changes with age. I will always be His daughter.
This affirmation in my heart is such a comfort. It's not always easy to hold onto but I am thankful that it is there. It is my hope and prayer that anyone who might read this will also begin to understand his/her potential because of their individual worth. I'm not saying that each day I wake up and look in the mirror and think I'm wonderful. Quite the opposite really, but I do think the more I remind myself that I am a child of God literally, it gets a little easier to go through the darker days. I have no clue what my purpose is on this planet, but it helps to think that I do have one. Even if it's just to develop myself and love others along the way. It's something I have to hold onto, otherwise I go to a very sad place.
Well, now I'm trying to gain some motivation. I have some minor chores to do and I want to finally go to the gym and break in that goal of getting healthy. If for any miraculous reason I do get pregnant I at least want to have established a healthy pattern beforehand. I don't know if I'm going to lose any weight but meh, I'll give it a go. lol
Love
H.